Loki drabbles
by AlkyoneArtemis
Summary: "I'm lost and no one will ever find me again." A little peek into Loki's head and his reasons for doing what he has done. Mainly how I see it, please no flaming it's just an opinion they CAN differ! I have resently decided to turn this around into a Loki drabble area, so enjoy!
1. Broken Balance

**Hey everyone, **

**I guess not a lot of people now this but I'm quite a Loki fan, I've pretty much always been. Even before all the Thor and Avengers stuff(though I do of course like that a lot as well) and well I have a lot of people asking my why I can't see Loki just as a villan and well why I always say that the way he has gone sorta insane isn't his fault and well thanks to that I came up with the idea for this little story, It's really short but it's sorta a peek into Loki's head and his reasons for doing what he does... **

**Anyway enjoy and of course let me know what you think of it by reviewing or sending a message if you prefer that!**

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><p>Is this my fault? Is it? No, no this can't be my fault, right? I mean after all these years of lies and fake promises standing in the shadow of that person they made me believe was my brother they expect me to carry on living like I used to. Tell me, who wouldn't go mad when everything that person thought was true has never been more than just a mere lie, while you find out that you were kept alive solely for the sake of maintaining an unreachable peace. That you might just as well be dead by now, no one would care anyway. When you feel like you've been sucked up in a dark void feeling nothing but lonesome, desolated, betrayed and rejected with Death closer than ever, who wouldn't go insane?<p>

I've lost everything I thought I had and they still point their fingers only at me. They say I'm to blame for the way I'm acting, but I'm not. I know it's not my fault. I have to admit I have never been the kindest person around and I've always been quite a trickster, but once I used to represent Light just as much as Darkness. I was the personification of balance in all the nine realms, but I guess that balance has been destroyed by now.

They fear me for the fact that I'm a Jötun, but were they afraid before they knew I was? Of course they weren't! They would rather be afraid of my "brother" instead. And when they would, I'd be there again standing in his massive shadow, since that seems to be the only thing I'm good at. Standing in someone else's shadow.

They're angry at me, angry because I wanted to demolishing Jotunheim and Midgard. But I have rights as well. I am and will always be the rightful heir to the throne of Jotunheim. But they took that away from me. After that they lied to me for years, saying I might just as well as Thor be the next king of Asgard. But of course I do now see I wouldn't have ever been. If anyone has the right to be angry, it's me. Especially at my so-called father, the one who saw me as nothing but a mere tool which he only needed for something that was unrealizable from the beginning anyway. The one person who declared himself as my "father" but has lied to me the most of all. He who is judging me for what I have done because of the lies he has told me himself! The mighty Allfather who sees himself pure perfection, but has failed terribly as a parent.

They think it's weird that I'm hiding behind a mask of insensibility and hatred, but what else can I do? There is no one left who cares for me, no one that can pull me out of this dark void. A void where you can't do anything else but go deranged. A place where they is no happiness left. There are just dark emotions swirling in your head while voices keep telling you what to do. Some voices still have a bit of goodness in them, they would say things like: 'Don't do it, you still care about them remember?' But they will always get countered by the majority of the voices, the dark ones. Saying I should just do it, they don't deserve anything better. And slowly the good voices are disappearing just like those happy emotions already have. That's how I'm slowly losing myself, I'm going insensate and crazy from the darkness that is pulling at me, the darkness I used to be able to keep balanced. Now it's devouring me, eating me from the inside out starting with me icy heart. And there is nothing I can do about it. I'm lost and no one will ever find me again.

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><p><strong>Well that was it again, hope you enjoyed it and like I said before please let me know what you think of it!<strong>


	2. A Heart Of Affection

**So yea today I felt like doing a little Loki drabble again... I guess I'm gonna turn this around into a Loki drabble area or something. It's really short but hey it's a drabble so what did you expect.**

**BEFORE YOU START READING THIS DOES CONTAIN THOR: THE DARK WORLD SPOILERS SO YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!**

**I don't own anything!**

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><p>Why?<p>

Why had he been so stupid to get himself locked up in this stupid cell? Not that he really minded the fact that he was locked up. On the contrary, now he could finally do whatever he pleased and no one would bother him. No the bad part was the fact that he had not been able to protect to only person that still saw the good inside of him.

Frigga

He should have been there with her keeping the Svartalfen away from Jane. Then for sure, she wouldn't have died. He would have prevented that at all cost, because Frigga had been the only one that hadn't given up on him, yet. Somehow she had managed to see through all that he had done and only wanted to help him, wanted to show him that it wasn't to late, that he could come back. She said he was still part of the family, where he had only screamed at her that they weren't his family. She had always wanted to help him, but the only thing he had done was deny that help. While it was only a family and help he needed and she knew that. She had only ever wanted to help him, something he only saw now. Now that it was too late.

Again if he hadn't been locked up in this stupid cell for some stupid plan that was bound to fail from the start he could have saved her. If he had just listened to her, she wouldn't have been dead because then he wouldn't even be locked up in the first placed. He only had himself to blame for the loss of the only person he did actually care for in some form, may that possibly be a twisted one but he still did.

Somehow it made him feel like he was bound to lose everything he had once held dear. That fate wanted nothing more than him being a loser, left to rot away in his own mistakes, sadness and guilt. Seeing those seemed to be the only things that were ever given to him.

But it wasn't time for him to rot away just yet. He was willing to fight that fate, may that be for only one thing.

Vengeance

After he would have avenged Frigga he would gladly rot in peace in that same cell, since he found there wasn't anything left for him to do. He wouldn't care, as long as he would get his revenge he would even let himself be tossed of the Bifrost willingly. But his vengeance he would get, and he could only half imagine how sweet it was going to be.

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><p><strong>Like always I hope you guys enjoyed and please review to let me know what you think about it! Also if you don't like it, because it could help me improve my writing skills!<strong>


	3. Fallen Angel

**Hey guys I'm so sorry I haven't uploaded anything for so long but here is a little drabble again! hope you enjoy and reviews are always welcome! also it's basically a continuation of the last one.**

He was still locked up in that same godforsaken cell. And to be honest, his state hadn't quite improved. He once, like it really was that much longer than two weeks ago, had been positive. As far as you could call it positive to be driving on pure hate, craving nothing but vengeance. But over the course of those last fourteen days, everything had gotten increasingly worse.

It was impossible for him to really be positive about anything at all anymore, he couldn't even get himself motivated for the smallest task, let alone come up with a play to escape this godforsaken cell. The only thing he did of late was sitting in one of those four empty corners his cell provided. Just sit there, contemplating everything, while he actually thought about nothing at all.

He could have wondered what had gotten into him. But to be honest he had known as soon as it started. It was a terrible feeling. He had screwed up everything and he knew it. Just as well as he knew that he couldn't ever change anything he had done. Couldn't bring all the people back that he had killed while he was fighting his demons, not theirs.

Although that didn't mean he would do things that much different if he got the chance to do it all over again. Would he would care for though, was to have his brother killed, and those damned Avengers annihilated before they could pose even the slightest threat at all.

But he couldn't, which meant that he would locked up in here for the longest stretch he could ever imagine. Wanting nothing more than to be dead, because living like this was a worse hell than falling down into space for what seemed like an eternity only to be found and abused by Thanos.

That's what he lately spend his time doing, contemplating everything he did wrong, how he was all shades of wrong and broken and hated.

And he disgusted himself fore it more than anyone else could.


End file.
